If you shamelessly stalk your blog’s statistics the way I do, you may know that WordPress furnishes bloggers with a list of search terms that have led readers to their blog. More experienced, committed bloggers may use this information to fine-tune blog posts to better reach their targeted audience. I just read the search queries and laugh. Stairs clip art? Someone found my blog by googling stairs? (I’ve also learned that most of my blog traffic comes from people searching for clip art and for pictures of “nasty looking feet.” Unfortunately for them, my feet aren’t nasty looking.)
Inspired by 101 Book’s Your Search Questions Answered series, I present my reactions to original, unedited search queries that have led unsuspecting googlers to my blog.
funny diabetes jokes
Two diabetics walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
eat dinner clip art
I think this phrase could use a strategically placed comma, some capitalization and an exclamation point. Eat dinner, clip art! Eat your food, you fat lard! The question is, can clip art eat dinner?
explaining clip art
Explaining your clip art can be difficult, especially to those who don’t have clip art themselves. Clip art is simply a royalty-free image created for decorating badly designed power points and webpages in the deluded hopes that images will make boring content more interesting. By taking charge of your clip art, you can still live a happy, full life. Limiting yourself to one clip art per slide, blog post, or webpage is the first step in learning to control your clip art.
keep calm jonas brothers
I would freak out too if I knew that middle school girls had pictures of my face plastered on their backpacks and pillowcases. But panicking isn’t going to help anything.
i tried being normal once and i didn’t like it
I didn’t either, dude. I didn’t either.
I find this concept disturbing. Deeply disturbing.
Someone should write a Dick and Jane book containing this sentence. “Look, Jane! See foot. See foot run.”
friends eating clip art
You know, food tastes better than clip art.
You can find a list of the most commonly known complications on medical websites. Here are some lesser known ones:
- Addiction to Coke Zero
- Addiction to Twitter
- Addiction to blogs
- Addiction to blogging
- Excessive use of jargon in day-to-day conversation
While research demonstrates that tight blood sugar management greatly lowers the risk of the most commonly known diabetes complications, it has shown little to no effectiveness in preventing these lesser known complications.
Well, that’s it for the first edition of “The Great Google Has Spoken.” I hope to create a recurring series out of future search terms. Google on, my readers. Google on.