Monthly Archives: September 2012

Diabetes Inside Jokes: Psychobetic

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Theatre poster providing notification of "...

Theatre poster providing notification of “no late admission” policy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

My friend jp hates needles. He’s the one I enjoyed showing my insulin needles to last semester: I liked watching him wriggle  as I waved a needle in front of him and talked about how little the injections hurt.

 

I flinched once while using a particularly blunt lancet to check my sugar. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I only flinched a little too.”

 

Soon he was describing the infamous murder in the shower from Hitchcock’s Psycho, only I was the murderer and my Fastclix lancet was the murder weapon. Also, the scene now lasted for 30 minutes.

 

It’s become running joke of sorts. I pull out my lancet to check my sugar and the next thing I know I’m in the middle of scene 1, take 3 of Pyschobetic.

 

And I’m left wondering–how long would that scene have lasted if a lancet had been used as the murder weapon?

 

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The Bolus Walk

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This semester has left me with enough spare time to breath and shower (occasionally), but not much else. As a graduate assistant in my University’s English department, I teach tutorial classes of about 20 students each for the freshman English course En 102. I get paid for 20 hours worth of work, but the idea of only working 20 hours a week grading papers, planning lessons, and meeting with students is so ludicrous that I sometimes laugh when I get my paycheck.

I’m also taking 9 credits *count ’em, 9 worth of classes this semester. One of those classes is online–don’t ask me why letting a graduate student take residence courses and an online course at the same time is a good idea.

I’ve also got friends I want to spend time with, family to keep up with, a room I must keep clean if I’m to stay sane *and i’m serious about that, and somewhere I’ve got to find time to sleep.

Add type 1 diabetes into the mix, and it’s quite the juggling act.

This semester has been one of multitasking and consolidating. Want to spend time with my boyfriend? I plan a study date at the library. I file while listening to lectures for my online class. I sleep while showering. (Not quite, but close.)

My newest multitasking feat? The Bolus Walk.

It’s an unfortunate reality that most of the carb options in the dining common are fast acting* ie they make my blood sugar go up FAST. Add a little stress into the mix and it’s the perfect recipe for very high post-prandial* that’s a fancy-pancy english major word for “after dinner” spikes. Yuck. To counter-act some of the spikes, I’ve started checking my blood sugar and taking insulin  for what I know I will eat while I’m walking to the dining common.

Preventing spikes, bolusing, and transportation. All in one. Cha-ching.

Diabetes Inside Jokes: How to Develop Carb Vision

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As helpful as nutrition apps like Go Meals are, what I really want is carb vision, the ability to tell the number of carbs in any given food item just by looking at it. It’s like x-ray vision for people with diabetes.

 

After watching a number of super hero films and discussing this topic many times with friends, I’ve come up with the following list of ways to develop carb vision.

 

1: Get struck by lightning while checking my blood sugar

 

English: Lightning 1882

English: Lightning 1882 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

2: Fill my pump with radioactive insulin

 

The danger classification sign of radioactive ...

The danger classification sign of radioactive materials (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

3:Get struck by lightning while refilling my pump

 

4: Take a really really big injection of genetically engineered insulin/superman growth serum. Or maybe two.

 

English: Insulin type syringe ready for inject...

English: Insulin type syringe ready for injection. Doctors view. Deutsch: eine Insulinspritze, bereit für die Injektion. Aus der Sichtweise des Arztes. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

5:Eat a radioactive sandwich

Mortadella sandwich

Mortadella sandwich (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

6: Get bitten by a radioactive nutritionist

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What’s your diabetes super power?

 

 

 

The Great Google Has Spoken Vol. 2

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Google Search Coupon: 1 FREE Google Search

Google Search Coupon: 1 FREE Google Search (Photo credit: Bramus!)

I have 78 spam comments trapped in a comment holding cell, waiting for their execution. A good deal of them are links to sites with tips for ranking high in Google searches. I suppose if I were interested in my Google search rankings, I would be tempted to visit these sites, or other more reputable ones on the same topic. But me, I’m content to browse through the search terms WordPress has collected and laugh at the themes I see emerge. According to the Google search terms that have led to my blog, my biggest topics are feet and clip art. Also clip art with feet.

Here is the second installment of the Great Google Has Spoken, my favorite search terms from the month of August complete with snarky commentary. Enjoy! (Or something. . .)

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clumbsy juggler

This search term induced a mild panic attack. Did I ever spell “clumsy” that way in a post??!?? I actually searched through my archives to see if I had.

feet of diabetic pictures

I didn’t know pictures got diabetes too. I also didn’t know pictures had feet. You learn something new every day, right?

clip art people looking at themselves

Technically, the clip art people can’t look at themselves or even at other people. Looking at things requires eyes, something clip art people don’t actually have.

diabetes google

Google has diabetes?!?

exercise outfit for old

This search term raises a significant question: old what?

low blood sugar affecting taste buds

First, congratulations on using the correct word in your search query. 9 out of 10 googlers would have searched for “low blood sugar effecting taste buds,” a query with a completely different meaning. The verb “affect” means “to influence.” The word “effect” as a verb means “to create.” Low blood sugar has never been known to create taste buds. Second, low blood sugar causes (almost) everything to taste like a little piece of heaven you can’t get enough of no matter how hard you try.

What Diabetes Looks Like: Brown Paper Packages

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I sat down at my computer yesterday, dressed  in my favorite dress and my newly arrived flower brooch, and checked my email. I had not one, but two, newly arrived package notifications. Brown paper packages tied up with strings? These are a few of my favorite things! I rushed over to the post office as soon as I could.

The first package I opened was this one:

This Hoop’n Bolus from the Hanky Pancreas is basically a flower headband for your pump. Yes, I know. It’s brilliant.

I like the way my blue Animas Ping looks, but it’s nice to have a way of dressing it up. It looks more like an accessory and less like a pager when I wear the flower with it.

The second package was a meter case I ordered from Myabetic only two days ago. It shipped so fast I literally didn’t have time to blog about my decision to buy it! I had been eyeing their Mystique purse [I believe this purse is out of stock currently, since I can’t find it listed] for quite a while and was thinking about asking for it for Christmas. A few days ago I decided to buy their smaller, less expensive Xpress wallet when I realized that it came in colors other than black. Like this beautiful shiny red:

 

It’s a meter case, but IT LOOKS LIKE A WALLET. ALL CAPS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW EXCITED THIS MAKES ME FEEL.

My favorite part? There’s a detachable pouch for used test strips.

Gandalf Lathspell’s new home. I hope he doesn’t think it’s too girly.

As soon as I opened the package, I was glad I decided to purchase this wallet. I ran to a meeting yesterday with nothing but my new wallet and my keys–something I haven’t done since January. I felt liberated. It’s amazing the power of small things like actually liking the way your meter case looks.