A Brief, Medically Questionable Guide to Fighting Hyperglycemia in Graduate School
- Is your blood sugar over 300? Are you so busy that you barely have time to breath? Ignore the stack of papers on your desk waiting to be graded and go to book club anyway. Take some insulin and then laugh at two full-grown men discussing the love triangle in The Hunger Games trilogy. Just make sure that you drink lots of water and pass on the sugary apple crisp.
- Has your fasting blood sugar been creeping up over the past couple of months due to stress? Just turn in your final project for that killer 8 week long online class and then go watch Thor with some friends. Don’t bring any homework and don’t think about any homework. Your fasting blood sugar will be 80 the next morning. Just don’t ruin it by eating a sugary muffin for breakfast, ok? Unless you really want to jump up to 250 something.
- Eat a bowl of ice cream early in the evening with your sister and overcalculate the carbs to compensate for all the times that you’ve undercounted a bowl of ice cream. Make sure that use a combo bolus to stretch out the insulin dose. Your blood sugar will plummet just before you are about to go to bed, but you won’t feel the symptoms until after you eat a snack of peanut butter crackers. If you want to have a rebound high, make sure that you treat the low with glucose tabs even though you’ve just eaten crackers.
- Go for a walk after supper and listen to an audiobook.
- If a certain friend offers to drive you back to your dorm when you are leaving the office at midnight, say no and walk instead. Saying yes inevitably leads to eating chocolate chip cookie dough and gelato in the dorm kitchen at one o’clock in the morning. Or maybe just say yes and take a lot of insulin.