Category Archives: Diabetes in the Background

Quiet

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I’m an extrovert, I guess. But even extroverts need to be alone sometimes.

Introversion and extroversion aren’t absolute categories, really. They’re more like extreme points on a spectrum. We all fall on different points in this spectrum, moving up and down it as our moods and health and circumstances change. Lots of books and blogs are out there to tell introverts that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. To be quiet. Extroverts need that reminder too, not only to help them understand the introverts in their lives but also to help them understand themselves.

Most peg me as an extrovert because I love to talk and hate to eat lunch alone. But I have some introverted qualities too. When I was an infant, I would cry to be put down for nap. During beach vacation my family took when I was five, I scared everyone by sneaking away to watch Scooby Doo by myself. The same little girl who made friends with everyone just needed to be alone.

I’ve always found that my introverted qualities strengthen during the summer. School takes drains me of both physical and emotional energy, so I need the summer to recharge. This summer I’ve needed more time to recharge than ever.

I’m in the middle of one of the biggest transitions I will ever make. I’ve only just finished up my graduate assistantship, an intense yet fulfilling period of my life. And my wedding is in 53 days. The wedding plans are placing a lot of demands on me, of course. There’s more than just the wedding plans to think about though. I’m going to be a wife in 53 days. This thought makes me feel very young and very full.

I’ve not withdrawn completely. I can’t withdraw completely and plan a wedding at the same time: I have phone calls to make and meetings to attend and decisions to make and shopping to do. I’ve spent several Saturdays in a row shopping for my wedding. But when I’m done with the shopping and the calls, I’m ready to be alone.

When I look back on this summer and wonder why I didn’t read more or blog more, this post will remind me why. I just needed a little quiet.

 

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Reblog

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I stumbled across this post today through WordPress’s Freshly Pressed and I totally relate with this blogger’s feelings. It’s difficult putting your thoughts into words and then putting those words out  the internet because there’s that fear that people won’t care. But this post and its 16 comments have encouraged me to keep posting and to stay honest. In the end, that’s what people care about–honesty. And even if I just reach one person with my story, that’s enough.

laughing.loving.eating

That’s right. I said it.

Blogging scares me.

This blog, this place that was created to be a bright and shiny window to my deepest, innermost thoughts, was born almost a month ago. And I have yet to make and publish* one single post.

*publish being the key word. I’ve written thousands in my head.**

**only slightly exaggerated.

It’s not that I haven’t been laughing. Or loving. And Lord knows I’ve been eating. Life has still been happening here. And it has been (mostly) wonderful.I am 100% sure that this severe-lack-of-posting funk has nothing whatsoever to do with me having nothing to say, but rather everything to do with the irrational, unexplainable, cold sweat/makes-me-want-to-puke/sudden-loss-of-brain-funtion inducing fear that I am met with each and every time I put my fingers to the keys.

After spending a few weeks believing that I was clinically insane and needed to be medicated…

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